Warning: Bad Driver Ahead! (And a horrid narrator too!)
I will admit down here. I am a terrible driver. The only reason why i passed my test was becos i told my tester to wear his seatbelt. He gave me that knowing smile and i knew then that i had passed.
Let me recount some incidents to prove my point.
The first time i drove after my test was with my dad. He needed me to go thru some orientation programme with him. It was an absolute disaster. It had been some time since i drove and thus, as you can expect, i was not good. Full stop. I didnt check my blind spots. I didnt gear down when going thru bends. But i did move off at gear 3. Wrong! Damn. But worst of all, i tried to show him my camp. As u know, Seletar is kinda ulu and the roads are very narrow. I tried my best to stay in my lane but all i succeeded at doing was to scrape the car's wheels along the side kerbs. HIS precious car's wheels. I couldnt touch the keys for like 1 week.
After a memory lapse, i got to drive the car again, this time with my mum and dog in tow too. We arrived at the carpark. My dad looked at the car and told me to wait first. I stood there wondering and my mum told me the reason. "Uh... i think he wants to get it out of the parallel parking slot first." I sooo understand, mum.
The 2 hands-on made me hungry for more driving. On monday, karen asked me out for a movie and i was adamant to drive her there. Being told of my intention, my mum started clicking her nails nervously and told me that she doesnt think its possible. My dad will not allow me to go out alone at night to such a bustling and busy place. Well, i was adamant. And i lied. I told my dad, over the phone (luckily), that i was just going to my friend's place at serangoon. After an unsure moment, i finally persuaded him to lent it to me. Mistake. Bad mistake on my dad's part.
I should have seen it coming though. There were signs. Ominous signs. The sky had darkened and thunder rumbled in the distance. And i dropped my stefanie album on the ground! My fav stefanie! Anyway, i decided to go ahead. After quite a few wrong turns and hazardous lane changings, i finally reached SPH. In time. Okay. Some time after in time. But at least i got there. On the way there, i got horned quite a few times. Stupid drivers! Always soo impatient. U know, they absolutely love to stick so close behind ur butt that it makes me suspect their sexual orientation.
Reaching Cineleisure, we decided to park at their underground carpark. As i swerve into the opening, i was so absorbed with talking to karen that i nearly hit the central divider. Thank god for her! She shouted, "NIIICK!" and closed her eyes. I looked at her and braked in time. Ok. Thank god i didnt hit or my dad will so kill me. What happened next left me sweating. As i drove down the winding lane to the underground carpark, i underestimated the car's width and "EEEEEEEKKK!". We heard the left side of the car scrape the wall. I was perspiring! F***! I need to get to a mechanic and get them to spray paint my car immediately or my dads gonna strangle me! But thank god again. There werent any lines or stuff when we checked after getting out.
After our little chatting session at Bakerzin (cos Madagascar was fully booked), we had to go. I had to go home. The car needed to get out of the underground carpark and back to my home. Karen kindly decided to help and direct me out. And again, the slope was the killer blow. As i drove up the slope, a car blocked my way in front and so i had to stop on the slope. Trying to remember what SSDC taught me, i pulled up the handbrake and waited. Alas, my slope techniques were warped and my acceleration was not enough. After releasing my handbrake, the car groaned and moaned, willing and begging me to step harder on the freakin accelerator. But stupid me didnt comprehend and so the car stalled. It stalled only after i hit the left wall. It stalled only after a car decide to stop behind me. It stalled and rolled back as Karen screamed. Sigh.
U know whats the funniest thing? As i began writing this piece, my dad came up to me and said, "Nick, did u touch the air-conditioning system? Do u know that u changed it such that the outside air is now mixed with the air-con? No wonder i have been smelling smoke and other stuff in the car." "Huh! Really? Hahaha" No wonder i was smelling smoke in the car too. Sigh.
P.S. I hope the traffic police isnt reading this. Dont revoke my licence, Pls!!!
