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Saturday, November 13, 2004

Gone Tomorrow

Okay. Im finally going to leave for taiwan tmr. Yeah! Finally. After talking bout it for weeks.
U know, its really strange. I dont know why but it seems that everytime i go vacation or something, the few days before it never seem any different. I mean, theres like no hype, no rushing around to buy stuff or changing of currencies. Its like life just goes on per normal. Remember the last time i went for the England trip with my schoolmates. The day before i was still in school playing soccer. But anyway i must say that it will be interesting cos we will be going free and easy, with no one to bring us around. It will be exciting to roam around alone. I just hope i get to watch the man u vs newcastle match on sunday midnight. Probably in a pub, somewhere along the streets of taipei.

Heres a picture of my dog. Its a girl. But she behaves more like a guy. By the way, her name's Tasha. Its her moms name actually, but i thought it sounded good for her.

Who Says That TV Encourages Violence?

Just what if it was Iraq who produced Sesame Streets......



Ernie: Hey Bert.

Bert: Yes, Ernie?

Ernie: Hey Bert.

Bert: YES, Ernie?

Ernie: Hey Bert.

Bert: YEAH? ERNIE?

Ernie: What Bert?

Bert: What what Ernie?

Ernie: Didn't you call me?

Bert: No I didn't. You were the one who called me.

Ernie: No I didn't. You must be dreaming. Lalalalalalal.....Dadadada.....Hey Bert.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Bert: I think I heard something. Did anybody hear someone calling me?

Cookie Monster: Mmmmmmh...... machine gun. Yummy.

The Spy Who Needed a Valet.



Mike Myers: Shit! Must the paparazzi be everywhere? Damn! Quick! Strike a pose, strike a pose. Damnnit! Why must I put out this peace thingy? I must look like a fool. Aaargh...

Chinese valet: No use for the peace sign now. Cheap white trash. No tip huh! Hmm... Wonder how much his car will sell on Ebay?


I'm a Mickey Mouse Kid



Mumbling under their breath

Daughter Amber: Umm... Daddy, do I look stupid with my pink rafia extensions? Do you think my friends will laugh at me tomorrow?

Lawrence Dallaglio: Ha. No deary. You look absolutely gorgeous with those strings in your hair. Are you sure its not real hair? I thought they were your hair. (Hahaha.... stupid girl. Had i known it was so easy, I should have just made you wear the big bird outfit out. Hahaha...)

Outkast!



Right man: U know, I just heard people calling us outcast the other day. I mean, Im surrounded by people man, u know, humanized people. How can they call us outcast? We are no outcast u know what i mean.

Left man: Yeah, right. (Right after u get outta ya tiger prints, u freako.)

Victoria's Secret

As if its a secret anymore. This girls just rule. Especially Adriana Lima.

From left to right: Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Gisele Bundchen, Tyra Banks and Heidi Klum

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Taiwan-Bound

Sigh.. As if anyone of u dont know already. Im going to Taiwan soon. Just a week from now. Im going there to shop and eat. Shop and eat. But before i have even left this place, i have already bought another 2 clothes. Aaaargh... im getting very very spendthrift. Must stop splurging. Is there a shopaholic anonymous group somewhere that i can join? And oh for the first time, after my trip, u will be able to see pictures of me on this site. I will bring u some of the interesting sites and pics straight from the streets of Taipei.

Army Excursions??

U know, im starting to like being in my unit these days cos its beginning to feel more and more alike school. We now have trips out of camp, to visit places in singapore that we would never have dreamt of going if we were sane-minded.

Okay, okay. I have to admit that it was kinda fun. We were dragged out of camp on monday to visit the Sungei Buloh wetland nature reserve. Actually we could have just walked around in our camp cos there was hardly any difference. It was all greens and sand. Nothing our camp couldnt match. The reserve even lost out in the number of mosquitos. Sigh.. What a letdown.

We went to some dumb wheatgrass farm after that. There was absolutely nothing interesting with the way plants grow and everybody was just dying to leave. But the worst thing was that there werent any transport outta that place. It was a nightmare cos hardly any taxis wanted to come in. We had to trudge out to the nearest bus stop about 5 miles out. Under the scorching sun no less.

Friday was a bit better cos we headed towards Jurong Island to visit the industries on the isle. It was interesting cos how many would actually have a chance to see this place. It was carefully guarded and we had to go thru scans alike that of the causeway. But best of all, we didnt have to get down to walk much cos it was mostly a bus tour. Air-con and comfy plushy seats. Whats not to like?

Just hope that such relaxing stuff will continue all the way till i ord.

Winner! Bush Wong!



Bush Wong: *chuckle chuckle* I have won! I have won! *sneer* Loser Kerry.... Thought he could win if he expose my real identity as a chinese. Bwahaha... Now, even the normally democrat-voting Asians have come to side with me in their bid to make China the biggest superpower in the world. Our plan is coming together. Bwahahaha...



John Kerry: Shucks! What should i do now? I need my script consultant! He didnt tell me what to say if this happens. Damn it! I was just a tad too overconfident i suppose. I thought that Chinaman expose was suppose to be the killing blow. Im doomed.... Must keep calm now and think of a plan. Ohmmmmmm....... Shit! The stupid yoga shit isnt working at all. Hmm.... Maybe if i just feint a migraine, i could get out of here without saying anything.



June Whitefield aka Fairy Godmother: Now now my dearest Kerry boy. You can't be such a sore loser all the time. Go shake that bugger's hand. Be sure to spray his hands first with one of the anti-bacterial spray washes that i gave you. Hey! What the heck! Aaaaargh! I have a hand growing out of my head!! Buffy! Save me! Damn it you stupid hand. You are on the wrong head. Its Sarah Michelle Gellar not me!



Wong: Crazy twit! Sprayed my hand with some water thingy. Maybe its a SARs infection kit. He must be damn upset by his lost. Hmmm.... should get someone to check my hand up later and sue him if there's something wrong.

Kerry: Must try not to shake his hand. It will all be over with this handshake. It will be like admitting defeat. Maybe i can still delay it for a while by demanding a re-count. Neh neh... You cannot catch my hand...

Wong: Hey! Stop that you flip-flopper! Now your hand's just like you. Flippy-flopping around. Let me shake your hand!



Wong: There! Damn it! I have finally caught you. Thank god. We could have been here all night.



Wong: Kerry oh Kerry. You are so useless and old. How could you even believe that you could have beaten me? What with me saying that I represent strong moral values and the like. I could be caught molesting people and all I have to say is that i have strong moral values and have my wife back me up and ta-da, everyone will love me as if nothing ever happened. Just ask Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hahaha...

Kerry: Uh... Sorry hor, but can you wait for my script writer to come? I don't really know what you trying to say.

Wong: Well, would you understand if I told you that your wife has been 'escorted' by my beloved Condoleeza to the nearby planet of Mars



Kerry: Huh! My wife? My wife! What happened to her? Oei! What you do to her? Somebody saaaaave me! Aaah! Aaaaah!

Wong: Calm down. I think you need your script writer. You are beginning to speak Singlish. Don't you dare pollute Americans with your brand of english.



Mr Teresa Heinz: My darling! I'm here. Don't worry my dearest. Come! Give me a hug. How could you even believe that i left with Ms Carbohydrate? I'm not straight. You should know that by now. Look, I even went for a plastic surgery for you. How could you even doubt me?!



Teresa: Whoa! I'm getting faint. Wow! Kerry's body odour is getting real bad these days. Pssst.... Can you help me get that guy over there? I want him for supper tonight.



Ageless Beauties

Time has not and definitely does not seem to affect these beauties. Some have been lovely for ages while the others are looking to displace them. Fret not. All are head-turners in their own right.

First up is Ms Peek-a-Boo. The beautiful Sharon Stone



Like a fairy. She floats about in her fragile pink dress. Here is Ms Emmy Rossum



The true timeless beauty. Just like Maggie Cheung. She is one of my favourites. She is Mrs Julia Roberts



Touted as the next big thing. She is indeed a stunner, as countless suitors will agree on. This is OC's Ms Mischa Barton

Lets be serious


Wrestle your own demons! Bastard!



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