Hey everyone, this is the start of my blog. Not really one cos u know i wont want to talk much bout myself. (there's nothing interesting) So this site is all about amusing myself and anybody who bothers to read it. Love me? Love it!
Just ran AHM today. For the un-initiated, its the army half-marathon. U know why its only a half marathon? Cos I could barely even finish this one half, not to even talk about 42km.
But I love such events cos I get to see some friends whom I have never seen for a long long time. People whom I spotted: Bingx (Yeah, I saw u running past me. Haha, for once Im faster then u.), Ian Tan, Yuan Tai, Jeremy (who was so clever to come to the event with his bike. Uh wait! Its jeremy right, not jerald. Cos so long never see them already.) and Bingzheng too. I think the best of all was to see Weixiang. Really missed him and the others from my course.
Aaaaah!! Im so dead tired from the run. Both of my legs nearly cramped up at the ending part when I was running in the esplanade park. I saw someone familiar and wanted to give chase but my thighs were giving way. Sigh... Came in at like 2hr 20+mins. At least it was a better timing than last year when I came in at a just nice timing of 2hr 43min. At least I ran faster than the worm.
You know, I think Jennifer mistook all her boyfriends for some male escort service, so guess what, its the time of the year to have a new fling again. So bye bye Benni boy.
Jennifer Lopez: Hi dearest reporters! Are you all here to take pics of my beautiful hand? Look at these nails. They have been manicured and painted in this fabulous deep red color. Its the new fad color. They call it the 'vengence'. Don't you think its soo... Uh, you mean you want to talk about the man behind me? There's no one behind me other than the guy who opened the door. Oooh! You mean that 'guy'.
You know, *hush tones* I don't really know why there are so many strange people in Paris. This guy has been following behind me ever since I touched down in this city. Look at him. So dirty and uncamp. But at least he pays for my stuff. Hahaha! Wish there were more people like him around. Wanna take pictures of my fantabulous outfit?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Harllo Every Body! Ai arm Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger! And ai arm your new Governor. Look at all my pawns, oaps sorry, mai funs around me. So Funtastic huh! No body will ever know that ai bought them to come support me. Haha. Love ya guys! Eh mam, ai think you are sticking da mike too close to mai face. Its nearly in mai big, muscular nose.
Haha! Ai luv California. Look, mai biggest contender was a porn star whose cleverest plan was to tax boob jobs. Quite clever actually. Mahbe ai can say its mai idea too.
To my critics who say ai can't act. Ai have conquered the greatest stage arny actor can go. Ai had to act clever and say these scripts mai advisor gave me. It was a lot of hard work as da speech was long and had a lot of big big words, but ai acted well and every body supported me. Its like ai won da oscar or something. Haha.
Thank you California! Ai know you all are overwhelmed by mai celebrity status. You wanted to be 'COOL' too, so you all voted me. Thank you. Now, ai need a break. Ai think mai muscles are shrinking in this heat. Ai need mai protein drink. So long mai slaves, uh sorry, mai saviours. I'll be back! Hahaha.
Bobby Larios: My love. You loook stunningly sexy in that black feathery bird outfit. Wonder which ostrich got stripped for that though. Oh no, my face is getting oily.
Niurka Marcos: Shush babyboy. Just smooch me here. My career is waning and I need some gossip to keep my profile up. Look, I even have my videocam with me so that we can do a paris if this doesn't work. Maybe I can sell the cam on ebay too! Ooooh! My claws are waiting...
What happens if the Spice girls went on the Atkins Diet
Scary Spice: Ooooh look! I think they luv us. We are super superstars yeah!
Sporty Spice: Thank god for Dr Atkins! I don't think I need another work out ever again. Look at my arms...
Baby Spice: I think I'm gonna cry.
Posh Spice: Aaaah!!! What the hell happened to me? My arms are f*****g spotted. I'm dalmatianed! Someone quick save me. Damn it! I look like Ginger with her freckled face. Stop smiling like idiots you all! And where are my boobs? I paid a shitload for them..... oops.
Dr Atkins: No... Its not my formula... It can't be. They look like shi.., sorry, sticks. I believe that they followed my rival's formula, the Madkins diet. Their high foreheads and large mouths are proofs of that. Uh.... no, its not my fault.
